I had a conversation with a client who felt ashamed because she found herself feeling attracted to men outside of her relationship. She felt alone in this experience. I reassured her that she is not alone and that it is normal and healthy to feel sexual attraction outside of committed relationships. The challenge, however, isn’t the sexual attraction, it is the pull to act on it that can feel uncomfortable.
This was something that came up for me in my relationship with Angus in the early years. I would find myself attracted to another man, and the pull would feel intense. I remember one occasion being on a modeling trip and feeling this with one of the male models. It didn’t help that we were meant to be a couple on the shoot. Picture this:
We are in the desert. Under this expansive blue sky. It feels like it is just the two of us even though we are surrounded by people, the makeup artist, the hairstylist, the photographic assistant, the photographer, the art director, the second photographic assistant. They have all disappeared into the background, and it is just the two of us snuggling, taking in the vista, wearing our white t-shirts and jeans for the catalog we are working for. There is a black beetle next to his left cowboy boot, and an elect