Rohini and Angus talk about the journey they've been on with desire and intimacy in their marriage and their reflections on, and insights around, how they overcame the challenges they experienced in the past.
At the beginning of their relationship, sexual desire was spontaneous and Rohini had no issue matching Angus' libido. But as time went on, and as intimacy and comfort ramped up, she found her sexual desire waning. This made her feel self-conscious and wonder if there was something wrong with her. When she became aware of this understanding, found herself feeling more relaxed and at ease in herself. One of the byproducts of this was she found herself more present and able to enjoy sexual intimacy. She saw she didn't need to fix anything to help her experience more desire, she just needed to relax. She experienced for herself desire can be cultivated.
Angus' initial response to Rohini's lack of desire was to question his manhood and feel insecure. He realized with time that he was blaming her for the way he felt. Rohini not matching his libido was something he was taking personally. This blame and pressure further perpetuated Rohini's dwindling desire for sex. Once Angus saw this for what it was, that he was reacting to his own insecurity, he was able to take the pressure off and meet Rohini where she was. This in turn made helped Rohini to feel more open.
This episode explores:
- How noticing that we're caught up allows us to naturally relax and open to pleasure
- Turning inward rather than outward when experiencing less desire can help us rekindle desire
- How sexual intimacy can be a doorway to experiencing the divine
Michelin Star Ranking System: how the finest dining restaurants are ranked, from 1 lowest to 3 exceptional. Also a way Angus almost stumbled into ranking his and Rohini's sex.
Slow Sex: The Art and Craft of the Female Orgasm: one of the resources Rohini turned to during the lack of desire insecurity phase
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Listener shout out!
I have listened to 1.5 episodes and am intrigued to find out what happens next...I had a smile on my face a lot as it was lighthearted and fun listening to you and Angus. ~Becs
Thank you, Becs! We are hoping to show the light-hearted side of relationships, even when there is conflict.
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Download the Transcript Below
Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” Listen to their podcast Rewilding Love. They believe too many good relationships fall apart because couples give up thinking their relationship problems can’t be solved. Many couples don’t know how to navigate low moods, conflict, and emotional reactivity. In this season of the Rewilding Love Podcast, Rohini and Angus help a couple on the brink of divorce due to conflict. Angus and Rohini love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and wellbeing. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love.