Though Alicia and Mateo are on guard with each other, Rohini and Angus begin to explore the deeper feelings of love and wellbeing present in both of them. Mateo vacillates between the loving feelings in his heart and the pestering thoughts in his mind, as Angus helps surface a glimmer of Mateo’s true feelings for Alicia. Alicia expresses her admiration for who Mateo is as a person -- she wishes he saw himself the way she sees him. Can they start to trust their wisdom over their judgments?
As Alicia and Mateo struggle to find common ground, Angus and Rohini support them in recognizing the seeds of love that are still present and ready to be rewilded. As Mateo shares about the depths of his feelings for Alicia, it becomes obvious how much he still cares for her. But he just as quickly retreats back into his story of how bad the relationship is. It’s not surprising that he goes back and forth -- vulnerability can be uncomfortable, especially for men who are conditioned by society to avoid it. If Mateo and Alicia could speak with each other when they are both in a space of open-heartedness and vulnerability, it could be a beautiful conversation. Instead, they keep having conversations from defensive, angry, and upset states. Unsurprisingly, those conversations aren’t going well and are keeping them polarized. The good news is they both ultimately want love and intimacy. They just don’t know how to get there.
This episode explores:
- How Alicia and Mateo’s experiences are subjective and a reflection of their mood in the moment, not the other person.
- How both Alicia and Mateo feel justified in their positions and decide the other person is responsible for their suffering.
- Finding the seeds of love in the relationship and bringing them into focus to support the rewilding of love.
- How Alicia and Mateo need to remember what love looks like and to arrive at seeing where there is still love in the relationship, rather than focus on what's not working.
- What is going to help Alicia and Mateo find common ground.
- Inner wisdom always points us toward love.
- Holding space for the innate wisdom, well-being, and love in each of us to unfold.
- The importance of where you are coming from when entering a conversation.
- How it is easy to make up our own story about what is going on with the other person when there is a lack of communication.
Helping them to see that the other person isn't responsible for their suffering by looking at where their experience really comes from, so that they can feel more empowered and less victimized in the relationship.
Podcast music: Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area. These 100% organic soundscapes are designed to tune, invigorate, calm, balance, nourish, activate and clarify one’s mind, body and soul. RhythmPharm helps one to Listen Differently.
Ep. 3 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.
What Is the Difference Between a Crevice and a Crevasse?
The difference between a crevice and a crevasse is more than just a few letters. It’s the difference between geology and glaciology. While both terms come from the Anglo-French word crevace, to break, they mean two different things. Crevices are cracks or splits caused by a fracture of a rock, while a crevasse is a deep fracture in a glacier or ice sheet.
Stalker: Can refer to still-hunting, which involves moving as slowly, quietly, and inconspicuously as possible, so you will see the deer before it sees you. Or you know, more commonly can refer to a person who harasses someone with unwanted and obsessive attention
Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” Listen to their podcast Rewilding Love. They believe too many good relationships fall apart because couples give up thinking their relationship problems can’t be solved. Many couples don’t know how to navigate low moods, conflict, and emotional reactivity. In this season of the Rewilding Love Podcast, Rohini and Angus help a couple on the brink of divorce due to conflict. Angus and Rohini love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and wellbeing. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate private couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love.