The blame game is in full effect as Alicia and Mateo each have their very separate realities and see the other party as wrong. Mateo blames Alicia’s temper for his habit of shutting down, and Alicia blows up when she feels like she’s the only responsible one in the relationship, or the only one who cares. Their lack of empathy and understanding about the other person's point of view results in their polarization. This wedge between them helps them stay convinced that the other’s behavior is the cause of their suffering -- can Rohini and Angus help them find understanding?
From narrow and self-focused perspectives, Alicia and Mateo justify their actions. From this state of mind, their thinking is distorted and they can’t see the whole picture. As they move toward more open-minded and open-hearted feelings, they gain the opportunity to see each other differently. Once they arrive in this space of greater trust, they access a more well-rounded perspective. The quality of their relationship actually reflects the quality of their individual states of mind.
This episode explores:
- The current status of Alicia and Mateo’s relationship.
- How Alicia and Mateo tell the tale of two different relationships.
- How a desire to protect optics in the face of friends and family can get in the way of being honest about what they are going through.
- How challenging it is for the relationship when both people feel discouraged.
- The importance of each person in the relationship having their own insight and transformation.
- The important role that the individual state of mind plays in order to open up to new possibilities.
- Initial sessions with Alicia and Mateo to begin hearing both sides.
- How common it is, and how detrimental it is, to keep a laundry list of woes.
- How many couples play the blame game.
- The challenges associated with volatility in relationships.
- How painful a lack of understanding can be.
- The negative impact of judgment in relationships.
Between the two of them, transformative coaches Angus and Rohini Ross have worked with hundreds of couples. They created the Rewilding Love podcast because they believe there is too much suffering in relationships. Too many good relationships fall apart because couples give up thinking their relationship problems can’t be solved. Many couples don’t know how to navigate low moods, conflict, and emotional reactivity.
Angus and Rohini guide couples to find their own wellbeing so they can rediscover the natural state of love in their relationships. Listening to the podcast allows you to reflect and see a different way of being in relationship with others and with yourself. Their relationship work is inspired by rewilding, an approach to nature conservation grounded in allowing natural processes to restore balance and harmony. They invite you to join in the rewilding back to your natural state.
Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” Listen to their podcast Rewilding Love. They believe too many good relationships fall apart because couples give up thinking their relationship problems can’t be solved. Many couples don’t know how to navigate low moods, conflict, and emotional reactivity. In this season of the Rewilding Love Podcast, Rohini and Angus help a couple on the brink of divorce due to conflict. Angus and Rohini love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and wellbeing. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate private couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love.