Michael Neill takes us on an epic, eye-opening journey through his awakening to this understanding to his heart-warming relationship with his wife. Learning, rather ironically, that subjectivity is the only objective fact of life, was a paradigm shift that changed his life forever.
Michael reminds us of the beauty of keeping it simple -- letting your original feeling of love and attraction to your partner be the basis for your relationship. And allowing the ultimate purpose of your relationship to be to enjoy each other's company. Our conditioning tells us to remain hyperfocused on what could go wrong, and in the process, we end up creating the trouble we feared in the first place. No wonder we might find ourselves saying, "I knew it!" But If we let enjoyment be our north star, we get to create a wonderful life together.
Michael relates the underlying feeling of a relationship to a movie's soundtrack. The soundtrack establishes the feeling we have in a movie -- for example, the horror film "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" is actually kind of scary, even though the villains are tomatoes, because of the suspenseful soundtrack the movie is set to. The same can be said about our lives. We want to notice the soundtrack of our day-to-day lives because it determines the feeling.
There was not a dry eye in the "house" when Michael answered the questions we ask all our guests in partnership, look out for answers like "tea time" and "I love you more".
This episode explores:
- Not having to agree on everything
- The importance of shared goodwill and commitment
- The myth of never going to bed upset with your partner
- There are some things worth reconciling and some things that aren't, and that's ok!
A goodwill plugin: The product on offer from the Rewilders
The cat who got the cream: Michael's smile on his wedding day
Attack of the Killer Tomatoes: an example of a film that got the soundtrack right
PG Tips Tea: a brand of tea manufactured in the UK, and loved by Michael and his wife (Angus prefers matcha green tea, despite being British himself)
Bog Standard: British way of saying "basic"
Falling Slowly: A song from the film "Once"
Michael Neill is an internationally renowned author, speaker, and thought leader, challenging the cultural mythology that stress and struggle are a prerequisite to creativity and success. His bestselling books, podcasts, keynotes, trainings, and retreats have inspired and impacted millions of people on six continents around the world. Learn more at: https://www.michaelneill.org/
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Listener shout out!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Liv! We're so glad you're listening.
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OTHER WAYS TO ENJOY THIS POST
Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” Listen to their podcast Rewilding Love. They believe too many good relationships fall apart because couples give up thinking their relationship problems can’t be solved. Many couples don’t know how to navigate low moods, conflict, and emotional reactivity. In this season of the Rewilding Love Podcast, Rohini and Angus help a couple on the brink of divorce due to conflict. Angus and Rohini love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and wellbeing. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate private couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love.