Things go south pretty quickly when people get righteous in relationships. We had a recent experience of that when Rohini got righteous with Angus about being late and felt very justified. This resulted in the goodwill in the relationship temporarily going south. In the vlog, Angus uses the metaphor of a wall of thought to represent righteous thinking. This gives a visual representation of how the wall gets in the way of each person being heard and understood.
When this happens the opportunity is to see the wall of thought for what it is, a temporary mirage that we get captivated by. As soon as we start to relax and settle the mirage starts to dissipate and we get more clarity and perspective. There is no technique required. This happens naturally. And having an awareness of how this works is very supportive. It helps us to be less captivated by the wall of thought when it emerges so we can settle more easily. And once the wall is down, it is natural for goodwill to return and for each person to see how they are on the same team rather than holding an adversarial stance.
Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” Listen to their podcast Rewilding Love. They believe too many good relationships fall apart because couples give up thinking their relationship problems can’t be solved. Many couples don’t know how to navigate low moods, conflict, and emotional reactivity. In this season of the Rewilding Love Podcast, Rohini and Angus help a couple on the brink of divorce due to conflict. Angus and Rohini love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and wellbeing. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate private couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love.