It can be especially hard for men to hold space for their partner's upset. There is so much societal and cultural conditioning around masculinity being associated with strength that men often don't feel comfortable with emotional expression. We often hear, "I don’t know what to do when my partner gets upset." At the beginning of our relationship, Angus would rush to try to fix things when I would be sad. He would try and escape his feelings of vulnerability when faced with my tears by doing his best to make me feel better, but when that didn't work or I would eventually get mad because he couldn't hold space for me he would end up feeling angry and resentful. Fortunately for me, Angus realized that he didn't need to do anything when I get emotionally imbalanced. He can trust that I will naturally stabilize and the kindest thing he can do if he has the bandwidth to do it, is hold space for me when I am upset. No fixing is needed just compassion and understanding.

If you would like to listen to the Rewilding Love Podcast, it comes out in serial format. Start with Episode 1 for context. Click here to listen. And, if you would like to dive deeper into the understanding I share along with additional support please check out the Rewilding Community.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” Listen to their podcast Rewilding Love. They believe too many good relationships fall apart because couples give up thinking their relationship problems can’t be solved. Many couples don’t know how to navigate low moods, conflict, and emotional reactivity. In this season of the Rewilding Love Podcast, Rohini and Angus help a couple on the brink of divorce due to conflict. Angus and Rohini love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and wellbeing. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate a private couples' intensives retreat program that rewilds relationships back to their natural state of love.

Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: TheRewilders.org. Check out Rohini's latest blog post.