Our judgments about our partners say much more about us than them. When we feel judgmental, it indicates that we lack clarity. Our upset and reactivity are signs that we are experiencing suffering. If we can remain open to our experience, we can learn a great deal about our blind spots and how to heal.
In this month's vlog, Rohini shares an example of when she felt disrespected, undervalued, and overburdened by Angus. However, upon reflection, she realized her upset was not caused by Angus's request. Her lack of neutrality reflected her own judgments and how she relates to herself. This was a blind spot for her.
By taking a moment to experience her feelings rather than react from them, Rohini held space for herself emotionally and was then able to recognize her boundaries and see how she could communicate them more effectively.
When you find yourself judging your partner, see if you can take a moment to check in with yourself and be with the emotions that arise. It can be challenging to stay present with your feelings, but your presence is what you need at those times. Let yourself feel. Allow yourself to be whole and see how clarity reveals itself to you. This will work wonders for your relationship.
Rohini Ross is co-founder of “The Rewilders.” Listen to her podcast, with her partner Angus Ross, Rewilding Love. They believe too many good relationships fall apart because couples give up thinking their relationship problems can’t be solved. In the first season of the Rewilding Love Podcast, Rohini and Angus help a couple on the brink of divorce due to conflict. Angus and Rohini also co-facilitate private couple's intensive retreat programs that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is also the author of the ebook Marriage, and she and Angus are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilders Community. You can follow Rohini on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about her work and subscribe to her blog visit: TheRewilders.org.