Angus and I noticed a pattern earlier in our relationship where when one of us was nervous we were more likely to get into conflict. This week we passed an invisible test when that didn't happen even though I, Rohini, had been feeling nervous. What was different was I was better able to tolerate my feelings of insecurity and be comfortable in the discomfort.
In the past, as a way to try and avoid the experience of insecurity, one of us would turn to blame and make the other person responsible for our feelings in a misguided attempt to try and make the uncomfortable feelings go away. This would often lead to conflict.
What made the difference this time is understanding that my feeling experience is temporary and it doesn't mean anything about me. This allowed me to not be that bothered by it so I didn't need to drag Angus into thereby allowing us to have an uneventful week on the conflict front.
Angus & Rohini Ross are “the Rewilders.” They love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and understanding. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate individualized couples intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love. Rohini is the author of the free ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Rohini on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about her work go to her website, www.rewilders.org.