Meet Alicia and Mateo, the couple in crisis who we’ll be following for the first season. Alicia was devastated when Mateo presented her with divorce papers. She wondered how they got to this point. Seven years ago, they were saying “I love you” on their first date. Mateo thought marriage would fix all of their problems, but now he feels like he’s made the biggest mistake of his life. Can Rohini and Angus help them rewild the love that is underneath the hurt and anger? And even if they do, will they stay together?
A lesson emerges that all couples can benefit from, we are not responsible for our partner’s experience. Embodying levity and depth, Angus and Rohini begin the journey of pointing to the innate love, harmony, and well-being that is already present in all people and all relationships.
This episode explores:
- How Alicia and Mateo met.
- The impact of mood on state of mind and how what we see through the lens of a low mood can’t be trusted.
- Flipping the paradigm: we are not responsible for our partner’s experience, and there’s immense freedom in seeing that.
- Angus and Rohini’s inspiration for the podcast.
- What it means to “rewild relationships.”
- How Mateo uses the threat of divorce to try and effect change, but he feels ambivalent about going through with it, leaving room for hope and possibility.
- The perils of falling into a victim mindset in relationships.
- Feeling unappreciated as a common theme couples experience.
Show Notes
Last chance saloon: Phrase comes from a saloon in Caldwell City, Kansas built-in 1869. It was called that because it was the last place to buy a legal alcoholic drink before passing into Indian country where the possession and sale of alcohol were forbidden.
Hunky Dory: The least exotic theory of all, but almost certainly the true clue, traces hunky-dory" to the archaic American slang word "hunk," meaning "safe," from the Dutch word "honk," meaning "goal," or "home" in a game. To achieve "hunk" or "hunky" in a child's game was to make it "home" and win the game.
Hunky Dory is also the fourth studio album by English singer-songwriter David Bowie, released December 17, 1971 by RCA Records.
Rewilding video: How Wolves Change Rivers
Podcast music
Rewilding Love features the music of RhythmPharm with Los Angeles based Master drummer, multi-instrumentalist, and composer Greg Ellis, born and raised in the Bay Area. Episode 15 includes selections from: Violet/Balance; Blue/Calm; Orange/Nourishment; Yellow/Clarity.
Feedback
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Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” Listen to their podcast Rewilding Love. They believe too many good relationships fall apart because couples give up thinking their relationship problems can’t be solved. Many couples don’t know how to navigate low moods, conflict, and emotional reactivity. In this season of the Rewilding Love Podcast, Rohini and Angus help a couple on the brink of divorce due to conflict. Angus and Rohini love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and wellbeing. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate private couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love.
Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: TheRewilders.org.