One of the biggest challenges in relationships is that couples try to work things out when they are reactive. Most people know it is not a good idea to work things out when they are really angry, but often they don’t notice when they are experiencing low-grade forms of reactivity such as judgment, righteousness, and arrogance. We are both guilty of this — thinking we are neutral when we aren’t. All of these forms of reactivity are the result of being caught up in personal thinking, and this can lead to polarization. However, when we drop out of our personal thinking, or identify less with it, we drop into the impersonal experience of ourselves. From this vantage point, we gain perspective and open up to the innate qualities of empathy, compassion, and understanding. From the impersonal perspective, it is easy to listen deeply and to see possibilities that are invisible to us when we are in our own limited point of view.

If you would like to listen to the Rewilding Love Podcast, it comes out in serial format. Start with Episode 1 for context. Click here to listen. And, if you would like to dive deeper into the understanding I share along with additional support please check out the Rewilding Community.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” Listen to their podcast Rewilding Love. They believe too many good relationships fall apart because couples give up thinking their relationship problems can’t be solved. Many couples don’t know how to navigate low moods, conflict, and emotional reactivity. In this season of the Rewilding Love Podcast, Rohini and Angus help a couple on the brink of divorce due to conflict. Angus and Rohini love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and wellbeing. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate private couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love.

Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: TheRewilders.org.