In this vlog, we talk about the importance of taking care of ourselves first when we feel emotional urgency. This helps to avoid behaviors that are detrimental to relationships. Acting from a state of urgency adds fuel to the fire of reactivity and often leads to more hurt feelings.

Angus shares a nautical metaphor to illustrate the point, and echo's his grandfather's words of wisdom, "Stay icy calm." We encourage you to remember to take a breath, a beat, a pause, a moment of self-care in response to your feelings of fight or flight so that urgency doesn't drive your behavior. When not being driven by urgency, notice how much easier it is to maintain feelings of understanding, love, and goodwill in your relationships.

If you would like to listen to the Rewilding Love Podcast, it comes out in serial format. Start with Episode 1 for context. Click here to listen. And, if you would like to dive deeper into the understanding I share along with additional support please check out the Rewilding Community.

Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” Listen to their podcast Rewilding Love. They believe too many good relationships fall apart because couples give up thinking their relationship problems can’t be solved. Many couples don’t know how to navigate low moods, conflict, and emotional reactivity. In this season of the Rewilding Love Podcast, Rohini and Angus help a couple on the brink of divorce due to conflict. Angus and Rohini love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and wellbeing. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate private couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love.

Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: TheRewilders.org. Check out Rohini's latest blog post.