Angus had an insight during one of our live webinars with the Rewilding Community, about the way he has habitually used anger as a coping mechanism to avoid the pain of feeling disconnected from his true nature. Rohini points out that some coping mechanisms, like anger, can be less obvious to us than others such as reaching for a drink. But just like any other behavior we use to avoid our emotional state, anger can become a learned response to try and avoid suffering.
As with all coping mechanisms, they innocently add more suffering to an already painful situation, and in the case of anger it can ripple out into our relationships. But when we understand the temporary nature of our thought/feeling experience, and who we are beyond them, it becomes much easier to simply be with our feelings and let them move through us. Being open to our emotional experience allows our nervous system to naturally stabilize.
We hope this helps you to see the health in all of your feelings so you can hold space for them and take good care of yourself in the process.
If you would like to listen to the Rewilding Love Podcast, it comes out in serial format. Start with Episode 1 for context. Click here to listen. And, if you would like to dive deeper into the understanding I share along with additional support please check out the Rewilding Community.
Angus & Rohini Ross are “The Rewilders.” Listen to their podcast Rewilding Love. They believe too many good relationships fall apart because couples give up thinking their relationship problems can’t be solved. Many couples don’t know how to navigate low moods, conflict, and emotional reactivity. In this season of the Rewilding Love Podcast, Rohini and Angus help a couple on the brink of divorce due to conflict. Angus and Rohini love working with couples and helping them to reduce conflict and discord in their relationships by pointing them to their innate wisdom and wellbeing. They work with couples who are struggling and couples who would like to deepen the love and intimacy they already have. They co-facilitate private couples' intensives that rewild relationships back to their natural state of love.
Rohini is the author of the ebook Marriage, and they are co-founders of The 29-Day Rewilding Experience and The Rewilding Community. You can also follow Angus and Rohini Ross on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. To learn more about their work visit: TheRewilders.org. Check out Rohini's latest blog post.